September 8th, 2004
I was talking with a friend about support. I’m not talking about financial support. We were discussing something far more valuable…moral support.
Just about everyone has had those types of friends that appear to support you, but at times say little things that undermine your confidence. You know what I’m talking about. They make statements that at first glance appear innocent, until you’ve given it some thought.
My friend brought up a good question concerning these types of friends. Why do we keep people like that in our lives?
I couldn’t answer the question. Part of me thinks it’s because of habit. The other half believes that we keep them to reinforce our own insecurities. Hmm…
What do you all think?
I think sometimes I’m just not sure if I misconstrued the meaning or not. I have to be certain I’m not reading more into what was said than I should be and the process of deciphering can take months. Once I’ve decided for a certainty that the “friend” is poisonous, I try to decide why they are that way. Did I do or say something to create the animosity? Or is it beyond my control? If it can’t be fixed, I slowly begin to sever ties. Why slowly? Because I hate to lose friends. Absolutely detest it, because it takes so long to make one. I’ll fight tooth and nail to keep a friend.
by Sylvia Day September 8th, 2004 at 11:40 pmI feel like such a twinky, Jordan, but a friend and I had a similar talk last week (about another writer friend of hers).
I’ll at least try to figure out if it’s just the way they are or just a phase. Like Sylvia I hate walking away from a friendship. But after a couple really bad experiences, I’d rather do that than let someone poison me.
by cece September 9th, 2004 at 7:09 amSylvia & Cece, It takes a lot for me to walk a way from a true friendship. I’ve only done it once in the past six years. I hate confrontation, so I haven’t brought it up to the person who does this to me. (Probably because they don’t do it all the time.) Sadly, I think it’s more common when you’re around artistic people. There is a lot of jealousy and insecurity…and that’s just coming from me. LOL! The behavior would have to get a lot worse before I’d do something drastic.
by Jordan September 9th, 2004 at 9:52 am