November 21st, 2004
I sent off my paranormal romance to my critique partner and she returned with feedback. Yeah! I trust her judgement, so I’m a little worried. She loves the story and the heroine, but is concerned about the hero appearing so late. We don’t hear mention of him until chapter two (page 31). He doesn’t actually appear until page 35. Do you think that’s too late? Are there any hard and fast rules about when the hero should show up? I know there are in category books, but what about single title? I’m trying to figure out a way of bringing him in earlier, but I don’t know if it’s going to be possible. There’s a lot happening in chapter one.
I don’t think you need to wrorry that it’s too late. Not if a lot is happening in the first chapter, and it’s a single title. Things have to happen so fast in category because there is so little space, but in ST you have much more room to manuever. I say go for it.
by Sasha White November 21st, 2004 at 12:13 pmI don’t think that’s too late at all, esp. for ST. Ch. 2 is pretty quick, all things considered. Maybe have a non-writer read it and see if they feel the same?
by Steph T. November 21st, 2004 at 5:56 pmThanks Sasha and Steph! I’m going to take another look at it. I think the concern over the hero’s arrival was brought up because my first chapter is almost 30 pages long. I think I may have a non-writer read it. Thanks for the suggestions and support.
by Jordan November 21st, 2004 at 9:04 pmIf you need another set of eyes…
by Sylvia Day November 22nd, 2004 at 2:29 amI don’t think it’s too late as long as there is interesting stuff going on before he shows up. Unless…is this an erotic romance? I do kinda like my h/h to show up quickly in those cases, but it really does depend on the story. (Yeah, I’m a big help, eh?)
by Larissa November 22nd, 2004 at 10:17 amAre we talking about [let’s say] Word document or in mass paperback format? If in Word, I’d probably get impatient, but if in mpb, I’m fine with it. It also depends on what kind of a story it is. I don’t mind if it is a thriller, but I think I do mind if it’s a traditional romance. Then again, it depends on what happens early in the story. I don’t know, really, to be honest! As you can tell, I’m not a writer.
It might be worth noting that in Linda Howard’s SON OF THE MORNING, the hero doesn’t show up until after the first quarter of the story, yet physically, he doesn’t show up until near the end of the story. 
by Maili November 22nd, 2004 at 11:11 amI suppose I should have explained what type of story this is. The story I’m talking about is a near-future erotic paranormal suspense. LOL! A murder opens the book. We meet the heroine the next day in a different action sequence. She finds the body of the murder victim (from the night before) after this action sequence and decides to investigate. This leads her to a town nearby where the hero is the local sheriff. Hope that helps and doesn’t confuse you too much.
by Jordan November 22nd, 2004 at 11:31 amOh, in that case, it sounds fine to me. It’d make sense for the hero to show up later. I def. can go with that. Thanks.
by Maili November 22nd, 2004 at 12:18 pmI agree with the hero being later on the book. If this is the heroine’s story, and based on the little info you gave, the hero seems a bit less important than the mystery you introduced. Go with your instinct! You will probably have more creative leeway with this sort of romance than a straight/non-mystery/suspense subplot romance.
by Sidonie November 22nd, 2004 at 2:25 pmThanks you guys for all your wonderful input. I have come up with a scene that may or may not stay in the book. I’m going to have a couple more people read through it. I have a few more changes to make before I do. I really appreciate the feedback.
by Jordan November 22nd, 2004 at 6:19 pm