April 15th, 2005
One Week Until I Leave For RT or Otherwise known as how to make several outfits from six pieces of clothing

I hate to pack. It’s probably from all the years of flying. I see a suitcase and actually have an abreaction. Just call me Pavlov’s dog. The closer I get to taking a trip, the more anxious I become. It’s not only nerves about the flight, (No, I wasn’t like that before 9/11.) but about the trip itself.

I look forward to seeing my family, whom I’ll get to visit on this trip, and my friends. I am just a little nervous about the whole conference crowd.

Prior to becoming a flight attendant, I was a very extroverted person. As the years went by, I grew more and more introverted. I think it’s because you had to be ‘on’ 24/7 at the airline. I swear if one more person had asked me to smile, I’d have ripped their lips off. (Breathe, you’re not on the plane. They can’t make you go back to work on the plane. That part of your life is over. Whew!) Sorry, I had to do my little mantra.

The hermit life of writing only adds to my introversion. Don’t get me wrong, I can talk to anybody and anything, including the wall. I just don’t find it near as easy as I used to. Has anyone else noticed their personality changing over the years or am I the only weird one?

22 comments to “One Week Until I Leave For RT or Otherwise known as how to make several outfits from six pieces of clothing”

  1. We all have changes some not as apparent. And yes you are the only weird one:) Have a nice visit and be sure to take notes for your writing, read and write and relax.

  2. LOL! Thanks Pirate for confirming my suspicions. (wg) I’ll definitely take a lot of notes.

  3. You are not alone. LOL!

    Was always an introvert–but find I want covet my alone time, my writing time, more than ever.

    Also seem to have trouble making conversation as the years pass. I’ll be talking, then get stuck, can’t think of the exact word…I always imagine the other person thinking, “and YOU want a career in writing??!” :-O

  4. Well hello birthday girl! 😀 Don’t feel bad, Dream. I do that ALL the time. I figure someday soon I’m going to start making up my own language. 😉

  5. I’ve changed a lot in the year and a half that I’ve been writing full-time. I’m definitely more of a hermit. In fact, just this evening I was wondering how to be a lurker at Nationals.

  6. I used to think I was as laid back as they come. Imagine my surprise to learn I’m now uptight and anxious. (Not paranoid yet, but give me time. I think I would be if I’d flown for years and years. ;))

  7. I think I become more and more introvert over the years. But then I’ve never been and extrovert (sp?) Have a nice trip, or as nice as possible!

  8. ROFL Sylvia!!
    Hmm…I’ve always been somewhat of a “loner”. Actually now I’ve learned to become laid back and less uptight now that I’m writing for some odd reason. *G*

  9. I used to be an extrovert, but over the years I’ve definitely changed. I don’t know if that’s due to the fact that I started working jobs where I was alone all the time (weather and writing) or if it’s simply me getting older.

    I’ve also developed more anxieties as I’ve gotten older. I used to not mind driving in big cities. Now I practically have panic attacks. Meeting people freaks me out. Crowds of people I don’t know? Forget about it! *g*

    So I’m not sure what’s causing it–I only know it’s happening!

  10. Oh you are so not alone, LOL in the introversion thing …

  11. Sylvia, LOL! I’d like to be at National just so I could see you attempt that. (wg)

  12. Amy, I hate that when that happens. *ggg* I used to be more paranoid when the original X-Files was airing. 😉 Looks around…I’m better now. Really. What’s that noise? Must get my tinfoil hat.

  13. Thanks Olga!!!

  14. Evangeline, I always knew you were the odd duck. LOL! 😀

  15. Larissa, Yeah, my anxieties seem to be increasing with age. Again, I noted a distinct spike, starting in the months after 9/11. Of course, I was flying then, so…you do the math. 😉

  16. Jill, Have you always been like that? Or is this something new? I think that’s what surprises me the most. I didn’t think your personality could change so much, particularly in adulthood.

  17. I used to be shy…now I just accept the fact I don’t like humans. =)

  18. Bravo Cece! Bravo! LOL!

  19. Perhaps it’s Social Anxiety Disorder? It’s nothing to do with shyness or, to some extend, confidence. It’s when a person feels an extreme form of self-consciousness when in social situations or when meeting people. Anxiety is usually brought on by anticipation. This affects anyone, including extroverts. In some cases, it’s kept on manageable level without any problems for the rest of a person’s life, but for many, it can worsen to the point where medication and therapy are needed to bring it down to manageable level.
    Apparently older people get, more likely they acquire this condition, especially if they spent a few years in stressful environment, work or personal. And especially if they aren’t aware what is wrong with them in the first place. Usually, they ARE aware there is something wrong, but because they don’t know what is wrong, they get anxious over this ‘silliness’, which then makes the condition worse. It’s a vicious circle. FWIW. 🙂

  20. Maili, Thanks! 😀 I do believe a lot of people are afflicted by that condition.

    My reaction to flying comes from a touch of post traumatic stress disorder. It was EXTREMELY stressful flying right after 9/11, so much so, I quit the following Jan./Feb.

    The crowd thing comes from the fact I’ve put on weight and I’m not comfortable in my own skin. This in turn, makes me very uncomfortable in crowds. (Boy, am I being blatantly honest today. 😉

    Well that, and the fact I can’t be arsed to make small talk. It truly bugs the *&$# out of me. LOL!

  21. I’m with Jordan on small talk and weight but I still don’t like most people. *g*

  22. Cece, I’m not saying I agree(wg), but I understand.