Archive for June, 2005

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
Blogs and Stalkers

Tonight I did another talk at one of the local RWA chapters about blogging. It’s a very popular subject these days. Inevitably, someone always asks me about blogs and stalkers. I’m a careful person by nature. (ie paranoid) I do worry about these types of things occurring and try to take every precaution to maintain my privacy.

I know the odds are that something like this will not occur in your life. (Thank goodness!) I also know that if someone wants to find you, they will. That said, I thought I’d bring this subject to you all. Do you worry about stalkers? Have you ever experienced this abnormal behavior from anyone due to your blogging? If so, what did you do?

Sunday, June 26th, 2005

I actually got the idea for this blog from Kate. It’s something that I’ve thought about before and certainly experienced. Paulina (the eighties supermodel) wrote a wonderful article in a magazine about the subject. What am I talking about? Being invisible.

I’m not sure what exact year it happened, but sometime over the past few years I’ve become invisible. What do I mean by that? I mean men and women no longer notice me. Kate talks about how in life you’re either recognized as a threat or sexual. When you fail to fall into either category, you become invisible. Paulina said that happened to her when she turned 40. Now if you’ve never seen this woman, she’s gorgeous.

I became invisible when I started putting on weight. Not really a surprise. (I told the picture on my website was OLD.) I always assumed it was strictly because of my weight gain that people no longer noticed me. It never really occurred to me that it could be an age thing. (And no, I’m not forty yet.;) Also, I realize this doesn’t just happen to women. Many men go through the same thing.

If you’ve never experienced being invisible, I must say it’s a strange sensation. It’s almost as if you float through life observing. I equate it to being a ghost. Some ‘sensative’ people can catch a glimpse of you, but most have no idea you’re there, haunting their space. When you do have someone ‘see’ you, it shocks you so bad you don’t know how to respond. Boo!

I’m not sure how I feel about being invisible. Some days it’s painful, while others I feel nothing at all. Kate has chosen to celebrate being invisible. (Probably the smartest thing to do, since I don’t think you can ever become visible again once you’ve disappeared.) I’m still trying to workout how to deal with existing as Casper. I’m sure I’ll make peace with it eventually. Until then, I will have my good and bad days.

Has anyone else experienced this strange sensation? If so, how did you deal with it?

Friday, June 24th, 2005
Moving Slow

I’m sorry if over these last few days I’ve come off a bit absent. I have been typing my little fingers to the bone to try to get two things submitted to Ellora’s Cave. They both went out on Wednesday, but I had a quick update to one today. They should be good to go now. It’ll be a while before I hear if they’re accepted.

I’m choosing not to talk about the latest RWA initiative. It makes my head hurt.

I started work on my werewolf book yesterday. I made it two chapters before my insecurity reared its ugly head and said the partial wouldn’t be good enough. Grr… I suppose I should be grateful I managed two chapters without ‘him’, but I’m not. Yes, I consider my insecurity a ‘him’. (Less guilt involved when I kick the sh*t of him. 😉 I wrangled chapter three today, but need to read through all of them tomorrow to see how it sounds.

I swear someday I will have to figure out how to grow a backbone and a spine. Anyone have a Petri dish?

Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
Travel and Fear

I was watching Michael Palin’s Himalaya travels last night. (We’d taped it.) I’ve watched several of his shows, including Around the World in 80 Days. If you get a chance to catch one of these shows on the Travel Channel, do so. He does an amazing job of showing you everyday life in the cities and towns that he visits. Nothing is glamorized or belittled. He doesn’t make fun of people like some shows do and he doesn’t come off jaded, which is quite a feat given how much he’s traveled.

You may wonder what my point is…I swear I have one. *g* I realized after watching the second episode of Himalayas that I fear going to most of the places Michael Palin travels while my dh dreams of having similar adventures. This got me thinking. Is my fear cultural? By that I mean is it due to the cultural separatism we have here in the states? Or is it learned from the media?

My dh is a Scot and grew up in the UK. He doesn’t think anything of traveling around the world. He yearns for it and misses his traveling days. (People in the UK have MUCH longer vacations than here in the US. They can get six weeks off a year.) In fact, we have a friend going around the world right now.

Last night I realized how much I miss out on due to my fear of ‘exotic’ places. When did I become such a chicken sh*t? Along with my new career plan, I believe I will develop a strategy to combat my irrational fears. Is your fear keeping you from doing something you’d love to do?

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005
Edits Are Finished

I finally finished editing AQ4. I’m scanning it right now to make sure I haven’t missed anything before sending it to my editor at EC. It is SUCH a relief. Thank you, Sylvia for all your help.

Today is my Mum’s birthday. Sending out well-wishes across the pond. Like my two dads, I also have two mothers and their birthdays are within days of each other.

There is a discussion happening on the Ask an Author ((Enable Javascript to see the email address)) list that has been VERY interesting. The writers are talking about their worries and insecurities. What you realize after reading several of the entries is that everyone has the same worries and insecurities. They may be worded differently, but they are the same. It doesn’t matter if you’re on book 1 or 50. Hearing their fears has really put things into perspective for me. I am not the only one worrying about my next book deal. I am not the only one who worries that they’ll never have another ‘good’ story idea. I’m not the only one who has lost their way in the dark.

Next time you’re feeling like you are all alone in this misery of insecurity, remember the woman with the stack of books next to you feels the exact same way.

Monday, June 20th, 2005
One Critique Down, One to Go

I received my critique of AQ4 from one of my critique partners. Let’s just say I’m going to be PLENTY busy over the next couple of days. Sigh. I should be getting the second one from a reader anytime now. I sure hope people enjoy this thing when all is said and done.

Sunday, June 19th, 2005
My Two Dads

You know I always thought I was lucky to have a dad in my life. Someone who taught me how to fish, shoot a bow and arrow, and hunt. (He stopped taking me hunting once he realized I was purposely stepping on dried leaves and twigs to warn the animals.) It was an accident I swear. (wg) I know a lot of people were not as fortunate in their childhoods.

Today, I feel doubly blessed because not only do I have ‘my’ dad, I have my dh’s father as well. These two men are as different as oil and vinegar, but I couldn’t imagine my world without either one. Each has taught me much about life, love, and laughter, and I’ll be forever grateful.

So, to my two dads, I wish you both a very happy Father’s Day.

Special birthday greetings to my mom. I love you!