August 31st, 2006
Do you keep in touch?

I’ve always been the type of person who has remained friends with the people I’ve dated. In fact, I prided myself on salvaging the friendships after the relationships ended. After all, there was a reason we went out in first place. I don’t get the whole fight/drama thing. Never have, never will.

I still speak with my ex-boyfriend on occasion, since we dated for so many years. I know how my high school boyfriends are doing, even though one of them tends to stay in touch through my mom since they live near each other. See, I want them ALL to find happiness and most of them have. I get to see pictures of their wives and kids, which is wonderful. I hear about their new jobs/new homes, etc. It’s all very cool. Then there are the men that I dated who are still single and/or divorced. Let’s just say that when I speak to them, I’m grateful my dh is so self-confident and understanding. Not that there is anything inappropriate taking place in the conversations. There isn’t and never would be. I do not harbor ‘what if’ fantasies about the people I used to date. No one I talk to falls into the ‘one that got away’ category. I don’t have a ‘one that got away’. I married the right one for me. 🙂 But I do know that the situation is a little odd.

The whole thing got me thinking, how common is it to stay in touch with the people you use to date? Do any of you out there still talk to your ex’s? If so, how frequently?

10 comments to “Do you keep in touch?”

  1. I see my ex husband all the time, but then we have a kiddo. As for ex boyfriends, I do keep in touch by email – most of them have moved away, and there’s only one I refuse to speak to and that was an extreme almost stalker-like situation. Other than him, I’ve remained friendly with the others. I’ll get an up close and personal meeting with a few next month at my high school reunion.

  2. Tina, Thanks! I’m glad I am not the only one. Enjoy your reunion. They are strange events indeed. (wg)

  3. Eeek, Tina, stalker types… I’ve got one of those exes myself. He still lives here in town and we do run into each other sometimes (grimace) but he’s the type who transfers his obsessions onto his new g-f, and thank goodness, he’s got one. Now he’s her problem, haha! Anyway, I only keep in touch with a couple of exes. See, I have this little problem with projection (thinking they’re everything I want them to be) followed by disillusionment (once I find out they’re someone else entirely)… 🙂

  4. Catherine, That’s definitely not a good thing. I used to do that years ago, but it stopped…thank goodness.

  5. I do! 🙂 There are reasons I loved them, and those don’t go away. It’s just a different kind of love I feel for them now.

  6. Syl, That’s a good point to bring up too. The feelings morph into something different, not quite a strong, but they’re still there.

  7. No…except the ex-hubster cuz we have kids and if we didn’t I wouldn’t talk to him either =) color me weird maybe…

  8. Actually Cece, I think you’re the norm. I don’t think most people keep in touch with their ex’s and for good reason. 😉

  9. I’m in periodic contact with two exes — we always were more friends than anything else. Have no idea where the ex-husband is. Several others have faded away over the years — I guess we weren’t as good of friends as I thought we might have been.

  10. Jean, I don’t think it’s necessary to be in touch frequently. I think it’s more a case of knowing how to get in touch with them if you needed or wanted to. 🙂