October 27th, 2006
This is the story about a Boy

I’m feeling nostalgic, so I thought I’d tell you the story about a boy I once knew. I had such a wonderful childhood. I grew up on farms, spending summers with my grandparents. I thought my grandpa was a god. Snort. Still do. *g* Anyway, there were a lot of kids around my grandparent’s home and several relatives. We’d meet them on the weekends at a river that still holds a special place in my heart and always will.

One such perfect summer weekend brought Kevin into my life. I was probably twelve or thereabouts and he was thirteen/fourteen. Perfect crush age–and boy did I fall hard. (wg) He had beautiful hazel eyes, dishwater blonde hair, a sexy mouth, and a mischievous grin that made you always wonder what he was up to. Like I said, it was love at first sight for me. *ggg*

He obviously took pity on me (and my puppy dog behavior) because he actually let me hang out with him. 🙂 We’d go swimming and fishing regularly. We sat around a lot of campfires making ‘goo-goo’ eyes at each other, when we weren’t wrestling for supremacy. (What can I say? I was a tomboy.)

As we grew up, our feelings morphed into raging teenage hormones. *g* I still remember how soft his lips were on mine. Blush. Eventually, like life often does, things changed. Kevin was in a bad automobile accident. He suffered head injuries that caused severe seizures. My grandpa died and grandma moved off the farm. Kevin’s parents left for Texas, taking him with them. One of his older brothers, whom he was close to, killed himself a year or so later. His oldest brother followed suit shortly thereafter. Kevin and I never saw each other after that, but I kept up with him through his mother.

He eventually moved back to the Midwest and got married, started raising a family of his own. I lost track of him for a while, but managed to speak to him a few years ago. It was nice to catch up. I made him promise that if he ever felt self-destructive like his brothers that he’d give me a call. He promised he would. I guess it was a promise that he just couldn’t keep.

Three years ago today, Kevin drove to that river that we loved so much, the place we had such wonderful times at and where we created so many happy memories, and he shot himself. (There was speculation that he wasn’t alone, but it was never proven.) I later found out that the seizures he’d managed to get rid of after the accident had come back with a vengeance. The medication was no longer working and I guess he couldn’t take anymore. I hadn’t seen him in years. I have no idea what he looked like as an adult. In my mind, Kevin will always be that boy that so easily captured my teenage heart and took a tiny piece of it with him when he exited this planet. May he find the peace that he couldn’t find here.

14 comments to “This is the story about a Boy”

  1. Jordan I have no words to express my sadness at this heartwrenching story so beautifully told.

  2. Beauty, sadness, two sides of the coin. A lovely story, heartfelt. Your memories and those of his family and friends will keep him alive. Makes you realize how precious, quick and fragile life is. My condoloences, Jordan. It’s never easy to deal with these things, from any distance.

  3. Thanks Jaq. I miss him and what he represented.

  4. Ursula, Life is indeed very fragile. He was one of my protectors when we were growing up. I just wish I could’ve repaid the favor, when he needed it most. 🙁

  5. What a heart-wrenching story… Sorry to hear about your loss, Jordan.

  6. Thanks Tempest. It wasn’t just my loss. He brought a lot to the table.

  7. That’s so tragic. Nice that you remember the happy times.

  8. Charli, I do remember the happy times. I just wish I could picture him as an adult on that road by the river and not the boy I used to know. :-/

  9. Jordan. Thank You so much for sharing with us. It’s heartwrenching, yet to me, strangely warming, as i prefer to think he was not alone. I think someone who loved him, was there to help him, and hold him when he needed it most.

  10. What a beautiful testament to friendship. Maybe it’s better that you do remember him as the boy and not the tragedy of adulthood. He was blessed to have had you as a friend – people need others to never forget them.

  11. Sasha, (((Hugs))) I hope you’re right. I don’t like thinking that he was alone.

  12. Bailey, No worries there. I’ll definitely never forget him. 🙂

  13. Oh, man. I don’t even know what to say. Three suicides in one family…I just can’t even believe that. This will be the understatement of the century, but, his poor mom. I hope she finds comfort and solace in dear friends like you, who have really sweet memories of her boys. Gyod, and Kevin as a teenager sounds so appealing, too. Sweet and warm and sexy. Wow, Jordan, what a story.

  14. Catherine, I actually found out his grandfather committed suicide too, so it was definitely something that ran in their family. (A strange wiring of the brain in the men.) Sadly, and perhaps it was for the best, his mother passed away beforehand. :-/