It’s difficult for me to admit, but lately I’ve been experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety. It’s not because of the news–though there’s plenty depressing happening there. It isn’t because of my home-life. All is quiet and peaceful on the western front. It isn’t even the writing. I’m quite enjoying writing books now. I haven’t had this much fun, since my first book was published.
No, I’m embarrassed to admit that what has me stressing is my upcoming agent appointment. Silly, right? Right? RIGHT?
For an author who’s had three agents, a pitch should be a walk in the park. And it is…or would be, if the industry hadn’t changed so drastically. These days it feels like the pitfalls of signing with an agent far outweigh the benefits. It makes me wonder if there are any real agents left. Of course I know that there are, but some days I truly wonder. Just like authors, a lot of agents are morphing into more than agents. I suppose that’s to be expected given the changing industry. The problem is these changes in agencies make it very difficult for an author to have a level/equal partnership. Things tended to be lopsided in the past and they’re even more so now.
The whole situation freaks me out. I even wrote a friend today to tell her that I was seriously thinking about canceling my appointment. Yep, that bitch fear was riding my a$$ hard. Thankfully, my friend talked me off the ledge by giving me a few options. I haven’t quite decided what I’m going to do yet. It’s just a sad day when it seems easier to go it alone.