May 20th, 2012

Well, what can you say about a movie that’s based on a game? I guess it depends on what the game was to begin with. Battleship was one of those movies that wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, but it wasn’t better either. In fact, my favorite thing about Battleship was when the director brought in veterans (at least I think they were real veterans) from previous world wars to run a retired battleship because the ‘new’ sailors had no clue how to operate a museum piece. 🙂 Loved that! (Bernard, I think you would, too.)

The rest of the movie was pretty much forgettable.The people you knew were going to die in the beginning–died. There were no surprises. One guy (John Carter Mars, who is an idiot jerk throughout the entire movie and really doesn’t get redemption) is honored as a hero for pulling one brave stunt, when in fact it was his Japanese counterpart who really saved the day. I always love it when the wrong people get credit for stuff they didn’t do.

Whoever wrote the dialogue needs to take several more script writing classes. I don’t think there was a cliche that they didn’t like or use in the movie. “I have a bad feeling about this…” Really? Was it the gaping hole in the side of your ship that brought you to this conclusion or the monstrous alien craft flying over the ocean toward you? Ugh!!!

I’m going to need an Avengers palate cleaning after this one.

4 comments to “Battleship”

  1. Very entertaining review… especially the cliches. 🙂 Yeah, I would get a bang out of the part with the vets being called back to run an old ship. I’ve heard they’re finally going to make the USS Ranger into a museum because it was in so many movies, including Top Gun. When I saw the previews of Battleship, nothing in them made an impression. I’ll take a look when it hits the small screen.

  2. Bernard, I think there are sections you will like, but not enough to see it at the theater. I’m sure it feels weird to have your ship retired. At least they’re keeping it together. 🙂

  3. OHHH, this sucks. I was looking forward to this because I love Taylor Kitch. But , sad to say, I’m not surprised. Sort of like GI JOE. I wanted to like it, but it wasn’t what it could’ve been. Although I have high hopes for the one that will be out this summer.

    Thanks for sharing. I’ll wait to rent this one.

  4. Sasha, I loved Taylor in John Carter, but I had a hard time liking him in this film. Frankly, his character was a dick and it was never explained why he was one. He also didn’t really change much. It bummed me out.

    G.I. JOE is a really good example of what this film is like, but with less fun parts.