So I pulled up my emails the other day and found one of those ‘send us your money or else’ spam mails. This one was apparently from the FBI. I guess the FBI no longer uses phones or grammar. Anyway, I’m not sure why I started to read it, but I can honestly say that I haven’t laughed this hard over spam EVER!
I’ve included just a small snippet, so you can see why the letter held my attention. I have also included my (comments). Enjoy!
***Attention, this is the final warning you are going to receive from me do you get me?
(Wow! Where was the first warning? All I can say is that I ‘get’ where you’re coming from.)
***I hope youre understand how many times this message has been sent to you?
***We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we would first send a letter to the mayor of the city where you reside (So the FBI doesn’t know how to find me. Somehow I doubt that.) and direct them to close your bank account (Apparently the FBI will also handle my banking.) until you have been jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by the fbi. (They want to take my few belongings, but can’t bother to capitalize their own name. Hmm…)
***We would also send a letter to the company/agency that you are working for so that they could get you fired (Roars with laughter. Can’t wait to see the look on my airline supervisor’s face.) until we are through with our investigations (I guess this means I’d be re-hired after the investigation.) because a suspect is not suppose to be working for the government or any private organization. (I had no idea I did. :-O Where’s my check? Someone’s holding out on me.)
***Your id which we have in our database been sent to all the crimes agencies (That should keep them busy for a while.) in America for them to inset (Apparently they’re going to inset me, instead of entering me in their database.) you in their website (The agencies only have one website. Really? Where have all of our tax dollars gone?) as an internet fraudsters (Sounds kind of like a hipster. Maybe now I’ll be cool.) and to warn people from having any deals with you (That’ll show me. *ggg).
The letter goes on for quite a while. In fact, I’m pretty sure the person who wrote it is a frustrated novelist with shaky command of the English language. Anyway, I hope the snippet brought a smile to your face. Personally, it made my day. 🙂
Progress is still being made on the writing front. I’ll have more news soon.