As you might’ve noticed from the last blog post in…2016, I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus. I’d love to say it was self-imposed, but the truth is since the end of 2015 I’ve been suffering from a case of severe burnout. There are many factors that led to that state (ie writing too fast, trying to publish too often, wearing too many hats, putting off projects I’ve been wanting to work on for YEARS, etc.). The ultimate reason behind it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that it happened and it was mentally crippling. A few months after the burnout started, my Dad passed. So life’s been interesting…
I was so freaked out over not writing that I actually signed up with an online editing/coaching service. I did it, so I’d be held accountable. The truth is, that service was my last hope. I genuinely looked at it that way. I knew that if I couldn’t write using the service I was going to have to walk away from writing and do something else. What would I have done? I had no idea since I’d never imagined my life without writing. Luckily, it didn’t come to chicken farming. (Yes, that was on my list of “possible” careers, if I was forced to leave writing. If that one surprises you, you should see the rest of the list. *g)
Thanks to Author Accelerator and my weekly editor coach, I was able to write again. That’s the good news. The bad news is that I didn’t write any of the projects that you guys have been waiting so patiently for. Given all the changes to the world in the last year and a half, I needed to work on something different, something bigger, something that challenged me as a writer and hopefully made the world a better place. So I wrote a children’s fantasy novel. I plan to shop it to agents in the next couple months. It isn’t a book I feel comfortable self-publishing.
What does this all mean? I honestly don’t know. I have re-charted the books I started for you all. One has 8500 words written and the other has a couple thousand. I WANT to finish them. Really, REALLY want to finish them. I don’t want to disappoint you guys. But every time I pick those projects up to work on them, I feel a deep-seeded fear that the burnout/block will return and it scares the pajamas off me. Is it psychological? Probably, but I cannot move forward on those books until I figure out how to deal with the fear. I hope you guys understand. If you don’t, I understand. Thanks for reading.